Last night’s dream was mostly ‘normal’. We went to Pizza Express in the South Bank centre. There is one there but this was a dream version that had tables it served on higher level that were generally less busy. We only had two slices of cake but the downstairs was pretty busy so I said I’d go upstairs to see if I could find a table up there and would ring down if I did. For some reason I also took the cake.

On the way upstairs I spotted a guy with glasses on his own at a table and our eyes briefly met. As I continued my journey I realised the guy in question was Arnie. Anyway, the journey was too long: up an escalator and round, and all the time I couldn’t see much in the way of quiet spaces. I also realised I kept not thinking about the plates I was holding and bits of cake were falling on the floor and on to my t-shirt (my yellow ‘Procrastinators…’ one, if you must know) making me realise it would have grease stains.

Eventually I went back downstairs admitting defeat and very sad that I’d lost about half the cake in the process (and taken about 20 minutes running around or something). Yeah, suck on that DiCaprio!

I don’t even want an iPhone and I’m not out of this contract for another 6 months. I walked into the 3 shop with a load of money I’d just got out and told the guy I wanted a new iPhone. He proceeded to ring round and check and then become incredibly nice, pulling out free food while trying to convince me I had to get the £45 a month contract. I woke up before I parted with my money.

This was a weird one. I was at work but work was not how I remembered it - a much bigger and more spacious building, something like modern university buildings tend to be. It was a big company meeting week and we moved from lecture hall to lecture hall to learn stuff about the company and everywhere we went people brought sacks of rice for the post-meeting meals.

This rice had some strange creatures on it that grew into fish and large (double hand span sized) butterflies that flew at my face and disturbed me. Then the place filled with water up to my head so the fish could swim around. When the butterflies went into the water they turned into something like an angel fish and worried me.

Last night’s dream involved a bomb of some sort and a bunker and a train station. It’s not entirely coherent to me but I am fairly sure I was going to Colchester to look at somewhere to live. When I arrived at the train station I went into the waiting room and realised someone had left a lot of stuff behind - a briefcase with papers and some sort of electronics. They’d left their driving licence meaning I could see her name and I reckoned I should hand it in to the station.

For whatever reason, I elected to wait until the next train pulled in some 15 minutes later until I acted but in the meantime I realised that what had been left was some sort of explosive device to let me get under cover in the bunker under the train station. I rounded everyone near by up and we went into the bunker and then I used the bomb to to close up the door way behind us and wait.

In the bunker was an OLD video of Noel Edmonds from the 80s where it became apparent that he had been involved in the bomb in some ways and new how to set it off perfectly. Watching the video we saw how to move the big filing cabinet aside in the office above so we could get out. 

Last night’s dream didn’t make a great deal of sense. Two groups had independently come up with some form of personal flying transport over in the US. One was Microsoft, no idea what the other was, but someone I knew in the States (I don’t know anyone in the States) had them both and wanted to sell me one for the bargain price of £600.

I went over there like a shot to get it and found that one was like a pair of flipflops that let you float and the other was more like a huge metre long by 30cm square box thing that you held hold of and it flew you around. I tried out the flipflops and realised that I couldn’t really use skates so this was quite tricky. I was having trouble really using them until I tried just sort of pushing with one foot and seeing how I went.

Afterwards I considered getting a wetsuit and attempting to use them both to get back across the Atlantic instead of a plane, but decided it would be too dangerous as I might well run out of power halfway and it would probably be pretty uncomfortable.

I was queuing for a fairground ride with my husband and I was feeling quite nervous. The ride was massive ride with thousands of people on it, a bit like a grandstand. People were sitting in rows with only a basic metal bar to hold them in place, no seatbelts or anything. We hopped on the ride and it began spinning at all angles, throwing everyone upside down every so often. There were loads of crazy people who weren’t holding on at all. Some guys were even jumping as the ride flipped upside down and landing on people on the other side of the ride. We were holding on for dear life and I had my legs and arms wrapped around the bar.

The ride stopped after a while and two teenage girls who worked at the fairground drove onto the centre of the ride in one of those little “Getz” cars. It was bright blue. They took their seats and the ride started again. I turned to my husband and said “that car is going to fall off and crush everyone” and he was like, “nah, they work here they know what they’re doing. Don’t worry honey”. But of course we were soon upside down again, hanging on for dear life and the car lifted off the ride and fell back onto people. It didn’t seem to actually hurt anyone though.

Then the ride was over and we were in an internet café. I got an email from my friend who was holidaying in the Lake District. It said she had just heard some most distressing news – Nick Cave had drowned himself and his 8 children in a lake in country Victoria. I was then reading a newspaper that had pictures of the 8 children and a comment from his wife saying that she was really sad and that not all of the children were hers.

Then I woke up.

Last night’s dream flitted between a strange LOTR like journey through the English countryside to some big bad meeting at a UN type of affair. I know that going along we found a shallow canal or river that my companion assured me was actually cider not water and I tried it and they were right.

Meanwhile I was also present at some massive negotiations where my liberal, thinking the best of everyone type of attitude was marking me out as a massive troublemaker. There was something about me being related to a member of the secret service too. Deep.

In the second sequence of the night I was jamming with my wife and an Aussie girl who I think only existed in the dream. We were in a rehearsal room I only went to once, about 6 or 7 years ago, down in New Cross, that was long and low and underground mostly. We swapped instruments a lot and tried to write stuff and were having a good time, I think.

We were going from Holloway to Camden because there was something I needed to do. It was cold weather and Camden seemed like how I remember it from 20-odd years ago, narrower and dingier. We stopped at someone’s flat down a small side street near to Camden Road station but I had to go and do whatever it was and that required I take my little netbook with me. I left my other stuff but I wrapped the netbook in my orange and green hoodies to disguise it from any robbers.

As I left their house I noticed a man with the other strangers walking towards me who was walking strangely in a sinister manner and had a sacking hood over his head rather in the style of Batman’s Scarecrow. I tried not to catch his eye and walked on quickly but I felt a tug at my arm and knew he wanted my netbook so I kicked back at him really hard and got running…

So, in Friday night’s final dream, we were in mum’s house that was for some reason ENORMOUS and quite amazing. In the garden there were a couple of huge cats, really huge. They were the size of Labradors and quite friendly.

As I was stroking one this mole popped up out of the earth next to it and then ran over and put its arm round the cat’s head. Both mole and cat beamed at me expectantly so I pulled out my phone and tried to get a picture but it was all going wrong and by the time the mole buried itself again I knew I’d failed to capture the best picture ever!